10 Jan


United has changed it’s home game starting time from 7:30 to 7:00  except for start times dictated by TV contractual obligations. Setting aside the lower case fuck you for TV contractual obligations, let me send out a FUCK YOU, UNITED! for the move to 7:00. I’ll be there, but I’ll need short something good in Saturday’s daylight I can’t reclaim at 9:10 in the dark, I’m in a parking lot in DC queueing to queue on the BW Parkway, I’ve lost three to six holes depending on difficulty of disc golf course in daylight, lost two mile hiking, you fucks. You fucks.

I bet you however many pints of stupid small glasses of nyquil you wager, the home kits will be red by time of fuck-me-jig, LOUD SIDE! will be in an endzone, they’re gonna cut the balls off the best part of the experience as soon as they fucking can. Does it beat not having a team of indifferent mediocre soccer-playing professionals? As always, fine fucking metaphors abound.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: